When did we become so good at judging each other? I feel like I am constantly having to prove myself & convince people that I DO something.
Say you’re at a wedding, you are introduced to someone new. What do you want to bet in the first 2 questions they ask you “so what is it that you do?”. I dread this question. If I were to answer “I’m a stay at home mom”, unless they are too, there is a look of “so what do you do all day?”. They don’t find it funny when I answer “whatever I want & I don’t even have to wear a bra”.
The thing is, my husband & I started a trucking company in 2012, end of 2013 I had our son, end of 2015 I started my online company Every Bit of Sunshine & I am going to be homeschooling this fall. So I have plenty of things to “say I do” & it can be a juggling act. But even when I say “I’m a work from home mom, we own a trucking company & I own an online newborn clothing company for photographers” people still just go “oh” & move on. Don’t you ever feel like you wish you warranted more than a “oh” or an opinion on if they approved?
I was thinking about all of this after I was listening to a talk from Brene Brown. She was referencing how we are sized up by our professions & how much more interesting it would be if instead we asked someone upon meeting them “what do you like to do?”. I would love this! In a recent social media post we were asked to list 3 things we love, to get to know each other better. The variety was wonderful. Conversations flowed & made everyone seem accessible. Just with 3 things.
I have seen in groups & talked to many friends that are creatives & they also seem to have the issue of when asked what they do & they answer “I own a photography studio” or I am a “photographer”. The intricacy of balancing the business side, the technical side & creative side can be very challenging & I do not think it is seen that way when people hear ” I own a creative business”. I have seen some very humble creatives get overshadowed because they do not toot their own horn. They are some of the best in the business but I promise you, if you were sitting across the table from them & meeting for the first time, you wouldn’t know that you are talking to someone who people in their field would pay a lot just to sit with them for an evening learning & chatting. And this applies to so many fields of work.
I am not sure if I feel the answer would be to find a way to find out about their personal interests or just practice
self-confidence & know that you have nothing to prove to a stranger. Probably both & with a smile lol. Even though I know I am blessed & happy in my family, home & businesses, I still get nervous with strangers in informal groups when I feel like that is being measured up. Maybe that is just the introvert & shyness in me. I am love to talk to new people but I feel at a loss with small talk. I’d love to hear your opinion of this!
Written by Heather Ashley